Aaarghh!

I completed my entire post yesterday afternoon, but just before I could publish it, something happened and I lost everything. That was pretty freaking frustrating! So, I'm just going to recreate it in a Reader's Digest version.
I am having a hard time with something that I like to call Cap Weight. My weight fluctuates daily. I can be up or down up to 10 lbs in a day and the next day be right back where I started from. All this with no significant change in my body structure or size it seems. So when I weigh myself, I try to pay attention and find my Cap Weight. That's the number that the scale never seems to go over anymore. When I started, I would go up and down, but the scale never went more than 246 lbs. Lately, my Cap Weight seems to be more like 239 lbs. I have weighed in as low as 234, but I don't go over 239 anymore.

Now this is no great accomplishment. Yes, I lost a couple straggling pounds, but that really doesn't do much in the way of winning any competition. I'm following my diet plain "fairly" closely and I'm trying to stay active. I'm not exercising as much as I had planned, but with the extra things I've been putting in my day, I should be losing more weight just based on all that. I'm getting a little frustrated.

I took Sophia to the splash park yesterday morning and ran into a handful of people I knew before I got pregnant with Dominic. I was way more self conscious than I thought I would be. I became acutely aware of my size all over again. Because the last time any of them saw me, I wasn't this big. Granted, I was no skinny mini, but I was nowhere near this size. It made me want to go and exercise right then and there. On the drive home, I really put some thought into that. If seeing people that I never really spent much time with outside church activities could make me see myself as I was and make me want to change it, then what do I need in order to push myself?

To get to the park, I just jump on the freeway, which is literally 2 minutes away, and get off only a couple exits down. I was lost in thought yesterday (I wish I could remember what about) and I missed my exit. I went to the next one and got off. Lo and behold, it dumped me out right at the front door of a gym I used to go to called Lifetime Fitness. Now, for all of you who don't know, this isn't just any gym- it is so much more. We went here as a family and it cost us upwards of about $125 a month for both Pasquale and myself and childcare for Sophia. Now some of you may think that's pretty steep, but we definitely got our money's worth. There was never a wait for a cardio machine because there were so many. It had a climbing rock wall, an enormous child care with a computer section for the kids, free classes including yoga and pilates, an indoor lap pool, 2 huge indoor hot tubs, a sauna, a steam room in each of the locker rooms, an enormous play pool outside for the kids (oh, and an indoor one too!), a huge water slide, a couple lap pools outside, a restaurant that made the best smoothies, a nail salon, hair salon, massage parlor, and a locker room (that provided all the towels for you) that felt more like a spa. This is what I paid $125 a month for.

We stopped going to the gym because we moved pretty far away from it. Or so I thought, until I went just one more exit yesterday and drove right to it. I think I'm going to talk to Pasquale about joining up again. The open pool hours gave us something to go do when Sophia was restless. It made me want to work out. A place like that is meant to. And It was a fun place to be with all its classes. Sophia actually took a dance class there and it was so cute to watch. Maybe this is what I need to push me that much more.