October 17th- Day 64 (officially)

So it's day 64 of my 84 body-changing plan. However, I sorta' kinda' dropped out for a bit there these past couple weeks. Pasquale went out of town the last week of September and I wasn't able to get any kind of appointments in the infant room at the gym for Dominic. When one part of my diet plan falls apart, it all kind of seems to unravel slowly but surely. So, first went the working out. Then about 3-4 days later, the eating started including fast food and treats instead of lean proteins and complex carbs.

In the course of all this unhealthy mayhem, my weight started rising in direct correlation to my bad habits. I initially lost 25 lbs. then I gained back 4-5 of them. *yay* But, even though I lost this round, I am not out. It is only the beginning of week 10. This challenge spans 12 weeks. I still have time to get back on track and recommit myself to another couple of weeks of intense physical training, healthy eating, and mental willpower. I vow to do just that.

Today started off okay. I ended up eating a Clif bar loaded with peanutty protein-goodness for breakfast. Then, since Pasquale finally got up, I made oatmeal and scrambled eggs for my second meal. I just love oatmeal. It really brings me back to childhood when we always had an abundance of oatmeal because it was super cheap. I hated it then because it was what I HAD to eat. I love it now. I think because I finally grew up a little. I think it's funny how your tastes will change as you age and you realize exactly what the food you eat does to and for your body.

Then we went grocery shopping. Always one of my favorite things to do as a family. We usually end up getting more than I planned when we go together, but it's so worth it to be able to spend that time together. When we were leaving, we had the option of grabbing something quick on the way home (via McDonald's, Del Taco or In-N-Out) or going home and making something. Yay for us- we chose to go home and make a healthier lunch, albeit hamburgers we happened to pick up there at the store. But since I was able to broil them in the toaster oven and get rid of all the grease and fat, load it up with healthy vegetables, and skimp on the fatty sauces, we had better tasting- better for you burgers for lunch.

I also chose to make a side of black baked beans to the lunch. I wanted to pack as much protein in there as possible. They were awesome! Now, since our lunch took so much longer to make than I had anticipated, and shopping was a little later than I planned, it pushed the whole eating 6 meals kind of out of whack. I was able to add in another helping of the baked beans for my snack a few hours later (which doesn't entirely qualify as a meal), but then it's time to make dinner and the 5th meal of the day. I think I'll make chicken with rice and corn on the cob. I have to use whatever leftovers are in the fridge before we go to Costco in the next day or so.

So, as soon as we pay the gym membership for this month (oops), we'll start going again. I think I will try to put Dominic in the general area with Sophia and see how he does. Maybe this way, I won't have to make appointments for him and we can have some more flexibility in going to the gym. Maybe.

Well, this is my renewal of my 12-week challenge- AGAIN. I feel like the only time I blog is when I'm feeling badly for how it's going and I have to start over again. But at least I'm still trying and I haven't given up and given in. Right, Camilla? At least there's that.

September 27th- Day 44

This is the beginning/middle of week 7 and I'm just getting back on track AGAIN! I just spent the last week in Las Vegas visiting family and one thing that I've noticed is my parent's house is bad for my health. As soon as I walk through the door, I feel like snacking. I want junk food. I just want to eat. I'm not hungry, but I just want to eat everything I can. I think there is some reason I tie family in with food, but until I can figure it out, I will have to struggle with my diet whenever I go home. It doesn't help that my family is addicted to ice cream and they make sure there is always a ready supply in the freezers at all times. The ice cream isn't the worst thing for me, because I'm not really drawn to it like I am to other things. I know how it affects me physically, and it doesn't taste good enough to me to suffer the consequences. But chips and salsa with sour cream is a form of kryptonite for me. And again, there are always chips there! But even after all that, I came home a pound lighter than when I left. I weighed in this morning at 223 lbs. I'm not sure how that happened, but I'm not going to dissect that. I'll just take it and move on.

I started this morning off a whole lot better than I have this past week. I had a bowl of my very favorite breakfast, cottage cheese and yogurt. I opted for Activia this time since it was what we picked up at Costco during our last trip. I also am trying to make sure I'm drinking enough water. When we got in last night, I went through 3 bottles of water in about as many hours and I still didn't feel like I was quenching my thirst. I struggle with water intake, and I'm going to be focusing on that for the next little bit until I make it more of a habit again.

But I'm not really doing as well as I started out. But I'm not giving up. Today is a new day and I can do it!

September 17th- Day 34

For some reason, this self-destructive gene in me keeps popping up. I'll do really great for a while, then as soon as I see some kind of results, I stop. I have been that way almost my entire life and it's about time I quit quitting! After my measurement update, I was thrilled! I was excited. I was jazzed. But, for some reason, the gym didn't work out that day due to scheduling conflicts (kids, you know). Ever since then, I've ditched on the gym, I've eaten crappy and so much to boot! I don't know what it is, but I would love to remove that part of me that starts to self-destruct as soon as I start making progress.

My body is already starting to show its protest to the way I've been treating it for the last 2 1/2 days. I've got what look like huge bug bites on my feet. But since there's no bite at the tops of them, it's obvious to me that it's just my body trying to expunge all the terrible toxins I'm exposing it to. This happened to me once before when I was on a strict Reliv cleanse for a while. All my joints (elbows, knees and fingers) starting getting liquid-filled bumps on them. My feet got the worst ones even though there were only a couple there. At one time, I had to go to the quick care because I thought one was actually a spider bite that was getting worse.

Our bodies are amazing things. They are so effective at preserving themselves while we are so good at destroying them. They are such functioning machines as long as we provide the correct kind of fuel. Unfortunately, I am terrible at consistently fueling my body well. I feed it great just until it gets used to that kind of goodness and starts functioning as it should. Then I throw a figurative wrench in the mix and I start to shut down, one system at a time. By the time I realize what I've done, I don't have any energy and I really don't want to take the time to make good food or exercise anymore. Such a vicious cycle.

Well, today I break this little mini-cycle I'm on. Today I go to the gym. Today I eat all 6 meals. Today I get the nutrition my body is screaming for. It's not like I don't have the food here in the house! (Gotta' love Costco!) Today I stop the scale from creeping back up to 225.8 lbs like it has this morning. Today I take back control and get back on track!